One of the things I'm going to miss

I started getting the daily update from sojo.net and I have really appreciated their opinions on the blogs and their call for action--with resources right there so you don't have an excuse to not act. And while this action is some of what I am frustrated about (in that it takes action to the government who might not do anything), it is still action, which is better than nothing.

One of the daily quotes on the emails speaks to my thoughts:

"Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one man or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, against misery and ignorance, injustice and violence. ... Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of our generation." --Robert F. Kennedy

How insightful and empowering! Love it. This is the kind of stuff that gets me amped up to do stuff and which gives me encouragement to keep making those good choices.

I appreciate the insights and perspectives on sojo.net, but when I only get internet and phone time for an hour and a half a week I will spend that time replying to emails and making calls to people I actually know, rather than read people's perspectives that, while interesting, I do not have a relationship with. (but I'd encourage others to read this and to send me the interesting articles!)

tired of waiting

here's my frustration:

the more I learn about the reality of poverty, the lack of justice and the horrors of disease in our world, the more I see "write your senator" as the only solution they offer.

Seriously?

I think it's the debate that Jim Wallis and Greg Boyd had at Bethel earlier this fall. Wallis suggests acting within the political structures that we have to produce change. Boyd says don't wait for the government to change because it won't; do something yourself.

My frustration is that I want to personally do something. I guess writing my congresswoman is doing something, but I want to do something that will stop the perpetual cycle of poverty, violence and disease directly.

When I did a bunch of research about fair trade products last summer, I came across a lot of companies who were accused of not being fair trade, or of having bad work environments (sweatshops, unfair wages, etc.). While I focused mostly in on Kraft products, I am aware of other companies and avoid those to the best of my ability as well. And after writing letters to those companies telling them why I'm not buying their product anymore, I feel I am directly helping the cause of fair trade, even though as one consumer I'm probably not making any sort of impact.

...I just realized why we should use the elected officials. Let me bring you along on the rant, though...

When I read about poverty and injustice, let's have a list of all the companies and organizations that are furthering this in our society and make a call for avoidance. I heard that the Cub near the apartments in Burnsville charges more for its baby formula than the one in Apple Valley because [stereotype] the poor people in apartments don't have cars. So because this Cub is the one they can get to by bus or by walking, they charge more for because they know they will be able to get that price.

I realize that isn't company-wide, but let's build websites with this sort of information--even if it's purely anecdotal like mine. Then people can check it out for themselves but at least have something to start with. Otherwise I feel like we are just waiting for other people to agree and make changes, and in the meantime we are sitting and waiting and unable to make a difference.

However, I see the benefit of writing to your senator, because my one voice or lack of purchase doesn't make a difference. But when even 1/535 of the ruling body of our country agrees with my pleas, that's a much better percentage than 1/295,734,134 (official number of people in the US).

I guess I get that. I still want to do something more, though. I'm sure after living with the poor in Honduras for a year I'll have a better handle on how to live differently in the affluent society to effect change for its poor, but it still feels a bit defeating and overwhelming at times. Sigh.

Balls or Bulbs?

My small group and I had a disagreement last night. They said you put Christmas bulbs on trees. I asked if they meant the bulbs of the lights. They said no, the ornaments. Christmas bulbs.

In my family those are Christmas balls. Or ornaments. Either one. But never "bulbs."

Now, I'm all in favor of bulbs after Alec Baldwin's portrayal of Pete Schweaty on SNL. Every time I hear the word "balls" I think about that sketch of him on the radio with the two "good times, good times" girls: "I can't wait to get my mouth around your Schweaty balls." Ruined. The word is absolutely ruined for me.

Anyway, I had never heard of "bulbs" before so I thought I'd just share my ignorance and thankfulness at another word to say this Christmas season.

purpose, mission, vision

for my internship, I had to figure out my purpose, mission and vision for my life. the people I will work with this year also asked me to do this.

awesome. no problem. totally easy. especially when I didn't want to just do an assignment but really be prayerful about it. I think it's cool that it's the same for me, whether I think about being in MN or Honduras. makes me think that it's actually from God.

Below is what I came up with:

Purpose:
I am created to be in an intimate relationship with God and to seek His voice and His Kingdom purposes above all else. (Matthew 6:33)

Mission:
I seek to build relationships with teens and young adults, to equip and empower them to discern God’s purpose for their lives, and to walk with them as they live it out and seek to bring God’s Kingdom to earth. (Matthew 28:18-20)

Vision:
I dream of a community of young people who are passionate about following God and sharing that love with others, who are a blessing to others becuase they recognize that they have been blessed. (Genesis 12:2-3)

Thanksgiving Eve

I don't know a lot of churches that have a Thanksgiving Eve service...of course, I've gone to one church since I was 4 so others might and I wouldn't have a clue.

Anyway, my church has a Thanksgiving Eve service and people get to pass the microphone around and tell what they're thankful for that year. It's supposed to be centered around being thankful for what God has done for them or the way they've seen God work in their lives, but sometimes people say they're thankful for not getting stitches, like one girl said tonight. Either way, it's a fun night.

However, my family has always loathed that service and talked about how the kids aren't policed by their parents and can just say whatever they want, and there are so many people who just want to hear themselves talk. This has really skewed my perspective.

This year, I sat with my friends who live out community and I saw that service through new eyes. I thought it was wonderful. I thought it was so encouraging and filled with love and honesty. Yes, I got annoyed with the family who was focused on themselves and a short perspective, but if that's what they need to do in order to feel accepted, I'll totally listen to them talk for 3 minutes and thank God for bringing all perspectives to our church. It was encouraging to see the community we have in that church and the ways we came to each other's aid when we need it. It was nice to see how we as a people of God have the ability to live in community like we are supposed to.

It gives me hope for our congregation to truly follow Jesus as a community. It makes me feel not so isolated.

elections and caring too much

why do I stay up until the wee hours of the morning to see who won my governor's race when it's so close and it won't be decided until the next day? and why do I care about who wins the governor's race when I will be out of the country and since I don't own a home my taxes aren't affected enough for me to truly care?

I'm such an optimist, too. I always truly believe my candidate will win, and I'm crushed if they don't. I even get disappointed when I don't win the lottery (which I play for entertainment's purposes; I get so much enjoyment out of that $1!) I'm such an optimist. I guess I just have so much buy-in, let my heart and being get too involved and invested. Which, of course, is a good thing in some senses, but people will tell me to be careful--don't love too much, guard yourself.

But how much should we hold back? Should we just love recklessly all the time and trust that God has enough love and goodness to sustain us and pull us through? Or should we guard our hearts and not invest fully unless it's really worth it? I know in Proverbs it says to guard our hearts...but Jesus also loved people outrageously.

Maybe I have to be aware of what I am investing in--is it something God-honoring or is it a silly election where neither candidate was someone I could strongly and fully back?

TOO BUSY!!!

so the detriment to only being home for 4 months before going away for a year is that you don't want to deny any one or any thing when they ask you to do something. I am stressing out a bit about how much I have going on. And let's all just keep in mind that I'm only working 15-20 hours a week.

I just looked at my schedule. I don't have a night where I don't have something going on until December 19th. it's November 16th. That is paTHETic! but it's all good things and I'm excited about all of them. except that it's Thursday and my statement of faith outline is Friday and I haven't made time to work on it because of the way I've scheduled myself and I'm now avoiding it because I just can't figure out how to write an outline and not just write it all. argh. awesome.

I don't know how I used to work 55 hours a week and go to school and actually have some semblance of a life. I honestly don't know how I did it.

crud war

Last weekend I went on the senior high retreat and had a blast. My friend Kaitlyn and I were in charge of games and we threw some whacked out games to them and they all participated enthusiastically--even when we made them bite into a lemon, dissolve a sugar cube in their mouths, mix it with a little water and then spit it into a cup. And without a prize, one kid just drank the glass of everyone else's loogies. awesome.

But one of their traditions is a crud war. Basically it's an organized food fight with nasty stuff. You get dixie cups and fill them with things like pudding, tomato sauce, flour, apple sauce, shaving cream and cherry pie filling. It lasts all of 3 minutes and everyone is caked. it's great fun.

I was one of the people who shopped for this food and I had to cringe. We spent $54 on food that would never be eaten and was purely for the amusement and waste of a bunch of suburban kids whose parents don't seem to blink writing out a check for $99 for their kid for a 2.5 day experience. I am completely aware that I can't judge them because I am typing this while sitting at Caribou drinking my jacked up price latte and using free wireless internet. But it did hurt a little at the futility and pure waste of it as it lay on the field afterward.

Of course, I participated, because our culture spends a lot of money on fun and this is one of the things the students will remember and recall fondly, and it will help break down the image--that so many kids have--that following Jesus takes away all your fun. I'm going to ignore the fact that following Jesus makes us see waste and not participate, but again, drinking a latte...

I was able to redeem it a bit in my head by taking the clothes that some of the students chose to throw away instead of taking home and I washed them and will donate them to the Good Will. 12 pieces of clothing will find new homes, now (one of which being my own since it had a small hole in the bottom of the shirt and the GW won't take that--but I will!).

I think the thing I was most pleased about with the experience was that two fellow leaders said to me while helping set it up "Allison, I bet this was hard for you after what you experienced in Honduras." They participated too, but I did it with a different attitude. I am glad that my new ideas about how to live are invading my own life and making me pause, but are also opening the eyes of those around me to potentially a new way to live.

Restrictions for travel to Latin America?

The Red Cross called today and asked if I could give blood because they are “in need of every blood type.” I asked if there were restrictions with travel to Latin America. She said yes.

I said “well, I was there all summer and I’m going back in January for a year.”

[Pause] “Oh. I’ll just put your name on hold then.”

“That’s probably best. Thanks.”

“No, thank you.”

Awesome. I don't think I'm going to be able to break my grandma's 8 gallon lifetime donation record.

My time in Honduras could be argued to do just as much good, but 8 gallons yields 64 pints. Am I ever going to help 64 people in their greatest time of need, who will die without the help that I gave? That really puts things into perspective for me. It might not (very confidently won't) be saving someone physically but from an emotional crisis, showing them something True and Good in the world? Maybe. I hate it when churches measure everything and call that success, but frankly, this parallel has helped me and shown me I have an alternate way of helping people in crisis time.

wow. This started out to be a funny post about giving blood. Darn my questioning mind!

Nah, I'd really have it no other way...

the way God Created us to be

My church is doing the 40 Days of Community right now. It's a program that people will do but probably not change their lifestyle beyond the 6 weeks of the program, which makes me sad. Especially when I hung out with the greatest community last night.

There are three families who all live together in Lakeville, and while it's not probably technically the country, there are cows on the road to get to their house and said road is dirt. Between these three couples there are 12 kids and soon to be 13.

These families go beyond knowing each others' garage codes and sharing yard tools, which is pretty good for most neighbors in suburbia. Anything that any of them has is for anyone who needs it. And while each family has their own distinct and different personality, they work together so well.

Last night we got a call before dinner saying "sundaes at our house at 7!" So a little after 7 all three families showed up and ice cream and toppings were dispensed from youngest to oldest. (And seriously, isn't that every kid's dream?) The kids knew to only eat in the kitchen and the adults took theirs into the living room (all one room, nicely separated by carpet versus tile). The noise level was deafening--even to the point where the parents were laughing and saying "they're not mine."

For the other person who isn't a normal part of this group and I, it was a bit overwhelming, but in a good way. Dads and kids were wrestling around--with kisses following any pin, moms and kids were looking at old pictures of the parents, making fun of bad haircuts and fashion in general, dads were googling each other, kids were dressing up the youngest of the crew in a Halloween costume and showing off how cute he was, and conversations about everything and nothing were going on all around.

About 9:00 the parents sent the kids to their respective homes to go to bed, putting the older in charge of the younger. And then we adults sat around until 11:30, not trying in any way to be quiet for the kids sleeping upstairs. We talked about one woman's experience leading a Bible study in a prison and the heartache of one of the women's stories and what her life will be like when she is released, they (I exclude myself here) talked about sex, the guys shared the talks their dads gave them about sex (we had a total of under 10 words combined for two of the guys), talked about how to talk with their adolescent daughters about it. One woman said to her husband "I didn't ask how your day went" and they shared that with the others there, and one guy's future employment ideas were discussed openly, sharing dreams and thoughts of what to do. These conversations seem to only happen between spouses, that they either don't want others to be a part of or consider it too boring or not their business. People weren't sitting immediately adjacent to their spouses but were comfortable with everyone in the group, and we laughed. Dang we laughed hard.

And then we prayed for the other non-regular who was going back to Honduras for a half hour but it felt like 5 minutes. The prayers were beautiful. They revealed the intimacy between everyone in the group because of our connection in God and our main focus of fulfilling God's mission and purpose for us individually and corporately. Some of them also prayed for me, for my trip back to Honduras in January.

It was so cool to be a part of that community if for only an evening or two, to see people truly connecting with one another, being able to go incredibly deep but still be downright silly. It gave me such hope that it exists in the world and motivates me to find, create and experience that sort of depth of friendship in every situation. I am trying really hard to be positive and not cynical that that sort of connection is rare. It takes work but I am willing. It is so encouraging to know there are others who are as well.